Friday, March 28, 2008

Singing (and Crying) in the Rain

Typical morning routine:

  • Wake sometime between 5:30 and 6:30. Usually before DH leaves for work.
  • Get into my "grubbies".
  • Check e-mails/job ads/quilting groups/blogs, etc.
  • Have Breakfast.
  • Decide what project I'm going to work on till time to get ready for work in the afternoon.
  • Sew or do housework or both
Well, this morning I was sitting here at the Laptop at 7:25 and all of a sudden decided I wanted to go take a walk. Had my sweats on, threw on my sneakers, grabbed the timer, and headed out the door without hesitating. WHAT, Wait a minute....where's the "old" extremely self conscious Barbara who wouldn't go for a walk till after 9am because by then people have mostly left for work and there aren't any kids around to make rude remarks....I hadn't been taking many walks lately because I was nursing a sprained ankle either...

But I headed out the door....Not knowing that it was RAINING...well, not really raining, but that fine, foggy, dew like mist... anyway, I did NOT turn around...I trodded on...

Now 4 months ago, I couldn't make it 2 or 3 houses away without hurting and stopping and turning around to go back home. That's what weighing 350 and having a BMI over 60 will do to you.

Today, I'm down 50 pounds, a lower BMI, NO more lower back pain, very little knee pain, and I just did a 30 minute walk IN THE MISTY RAIN! I was crying very happy tears as I kept going one house further, one street further... I felt like I could have walked a lot longer, but I couldn't see as my glasses were all wet.

As I walked, I thought about all the things I'm grateful for...This is getting to be a long entry but I don't freaking care.... I am on a roll and want to express myself....
  • Thank you Liza, Mimi, SueAnn, and Suzette for being my sounding boards, my comrades, and teaching me lessons about things other than just quilting. For giving me a gentle "Poke" when I need one, for encouraging me to go for it, From you I've learned what having a real set of Girlfriends is all about. I look forward to every time we meet. It really is the highlight of my month.
  • I'm grateful that 1 year ago today my beautiful little niece came into my life. On this her first birthday, I vow to spend more time with her over the next year. To be a better Aunt. To keep getting healthier so I can go chase her in the park and live to watch her grow up.
  • I'm grateful for all my online quilting friends. DH doesn't understand why I call them friends since we've never met. They've been there for me when I've undergone major surgeries. They were there for me when my Cousin died tragically. They've seen me through good days and bad, and we share the things going on in our lives. I call that being a friend.
  • I'm grateful for my Mom. What can I say? I love you with everything that I am. You've loved me even when there were times I didn't love myself.
  • And Yes, I'm grateful for my husband who has loved me and put up with me when many times he shouldn't have. Who has loved me no matter what my weight. He doesn't agree with the way I "cheated" to start my weight loss, but loves me anyway. We have our serious problems, but I love him too.
  • There are a myriad of other things...Deb, Helle, Jennifer, my friends at church, belonging to a church that lets me be myself, my talents, etc...but I will save them for another time...
Love you!



tirane93 said...

you GO girl!

Wendy said...

You are awesome...good for you to have lost the weight and starting walking. One step at a time. I lost 45 pounds in the last year and ran my first marathon in January. Last year at this time, I couldn't run 1/4 of a mile. Anything is possible. You hang in there, stay positive and keep focused. You are doing this the hard way, but the right way! I can't tell you what an inspiration you are. I am tagging you to post 7 Random or Weird Things...You can see the rules at